How can I live with a narcissist?

Useful Methods that make it easier to deal with a narcissist 

Life alongside a narcissist always involves emotional suffering an limitations. You have to withstand all the insults, manipulation, demands and mood swings. Sometimes it feels as though, you are standing against a wall and are constantly having stones thrown at you.

Sharing your life with a narcissist means permanently fighting to stand up for your own rights.

Yet, what other option do you have to free yourself from this miserable state of being? As the narcissist will not change, you are the one who must be prepared to draw some consequences and work on your own behavior. You must learn to be aware of your feelings and actions all the time, as well as the narcissist´s motives and reaction pattern. Without a certain degree of self-reflection, alertness und discipline, afflicted individuals will never be able to achieve any improvement.

This guidebook is intended to help you better adapt to being around a narcissist and get along with him. Many different scenarios are described in the book – you will surely recognize situations from your own daily life. It also includes possible solutions for countering the narcissist`s egocentrism and protecting yourself against his humiliating and manipulative ways.


Why is it so difficult to have a relationship with a narcissist?

• What motives does the narcissist have and what is the root cause of his destructive behavior?

Identify your own emotionals wounds, needs and response pattern

Which opportunities and which limits does a relationship with a narcissist have?

Which methods does the narcissist apply?

How can you protect yourself from his transgressions?

• How can you learn to cope with his insults?

• How can you learn to deal with his manipulative ways?

• There are a whole range of ideas on how to behave, including many practical examples for you to practice with.

• What schould you avoid doing when you are dealing with a narcissist?

• Special behavoiral advice on how to deal with narcissist parents, grandparents, managers, co-workers and neighbors

Click here to see the table of Content and an excerpt from inside the book

How can you benefit from improving the way you behave around the narcissist?

 You will be better at setting boundaries for the narcissist and stand up for your own ideas and beliefs.

• You will no longer allow yourself to be intimidated so easily and you will also be able to see past the narcissist´s facade.

• You will have more self-respect, as well as respect for the narcissist.

• You will become more autonomous, which will help you cope with backlashes more easily.

How can I live with a narcissist?

E-book: A practical guidebook to help you optimize your behavior when dealing with a narcissist 

First published in German 2016, in English 2017, 143 pages

  Preis 16.80 $                              buy it now


What are readers saying about the book?

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Dear Mr. Grüttefien,

I cannot simply leave my husband and escape this situation. That why it is so great that you have covered this topic in more detail and provided lots of different solutions in your book. It was easy to read and I found many ideas for how to deal with things and change my behavior. I am eager to see what effect it will have. In the meantime, many heartfelt thanks for all your valuable tips!

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Hello to those suffering and Mr. Grüttefien,

For the last six years I have been with a man who behaves exactly this way. Sometimes it is terrifying how insecure and afraid I feel. It never used to be like this. I am scared that he will do something to hurt me if I try to leave and we have a small daughter. Everyone says: “Don’t be afraid, just go! You are doing exactly what he wants by staying.” I have read the book and many of the comments. This has opened my eyes. Why do we put up with this kind of thing for so long? There were plenty of warning signs, but what holds us back, it makes you feel so trapped. There are always secrets, women, cheating, affairs.  And then he is Mr. charming again, just to stop me from going. It is all starting to make me ill. I hope I can make a change and thank you for the book.


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Good morning,

Since I found this website, I have been sitting here reading this book. I am one of the few men. I thought that the emotional pain that I feel could not be topped and that no one could understand me. Now I see and understand what a narcissist can do to other people. I understand now, but it does make my suffering any less painful. I have been in a relationship with a married woman for 3 ½ years. After having “capturing” me by pulling out all the stops, she began acting jealous after a few months. She monitored my cellphone, I was being watched permanently, she had others report what I was doing, and made dreadful accusations. No conversations or vows or expressions of love are of any use. Her facial expression can change from one second to another. Completely irrational statements. Until now, I did not know anything about narcissist. But here it seems as though I am reading my own life story – 100%. I am a very social and life-loving person – but there is hardly any of that left in me now. I have already been to 4 doctors, but no one has been able to help me. I finally want to be able to find joy in life again! What makes these people so powerful? Thank you for this website and the books!

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My first impulse when I read the title “How to live with a narcissist”: DON’T DO IT AT ALL! You’ll have no life to live. The methods and strategies given in the book are surely a welcome life saver, which can help you master your feelings of helplessness and despair for a short while. However, don’t be fooled. In the long term, sharing a LIFE with this kind of person is not truly possible in any way. You can life a different kind of life: one that is peaceful, happy and free. And perhaps you will even meet a wonderful person who can stand at your side – someone who REALLY loves you. A terrible end to things is better that a never-ending terribleness. No one should allow themselves to be treated so badly…

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Thank you for this forum, the informative and well-written articles by Mr. Gruettefien regarding the topic of narcissism. It is as if someone finally opened my eyes. It is shocking!! Thanks to this e-book, I have finally learned to understand the mechanisms that are at work and believe, or hope, that I will be able to adapt to and deal with this much better now. It is so difficult to share a life with a person like this.